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Vulnerability

via Ksenia Bergantz – AVAC

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2014 is right around the corner, which means it is time to reflect back on the events of the passing year.

For most of my life, I’ve had a mentally that the more walls and barriers I create towards others, the easier things are going to end up being. The less emotions are involved, the less drama, headaches, and heartaches. This equation worked great for me…until I graduated college last December. After my last final, I came in to work like any other day of the week. Instead of jumping and celebrating, before anyone was able to utter out the word “congratulations”, I stood in front of the front desk and began crying. At that precise moment, everything I knew about how I handled my life was over. Instead of being liberated, the thoughts of not going to class and not cramming for finals only transformed into heavier burdens upon my shoulders.

I let go of all my emotions and showed vulnerability…in front of others. Truthfully, that was the absolute first in my life. It was difficult to understand my thoughts after that moment; my mind and emotions were like a whirlpool without any sense of organization.

As the year continued, I slowly began understanding. Understanding that vulnerability is not a negative trait, understanding that being weak in front of others is necessary to gain connections with others, understanding that being afraid does not solve anything.

It is too bad that society has placed a stigma on the concept of vulnerability, but I am glad that the people in my life have helped me overcome it. Opening yourself up does not make you weak. Yes, you might become more prone to being hurt, but everyone needs to be hurt in their lives. Without hurt, there will be no growth. If I continued to build my barriers this year, I wouldn’t have published an article, I wouldn’t have applied to certain graduate schools, and most importantly, I wouldn’t let the people I care about know that I love and care about them.

In order to be a truly healthy being, one must take care of the outside and the inside. With the new year, I hope that people will gain a focus back on their inner selves, I hope that people will realize their truth self worth, and I hope that people will start being truthful with themselves.

So here is an early cheers to what’s in front of us.

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